Wednesday, August 3, 2011

building up our girls from the inside out

My friend Rachel shared a link on Facebook yesterday and I'm so glad I checked it out!
Some of you may have already read the fantastic Motherhood Monday post on A Cup of Jo about how to talk to little girls...but if you haven't, and if you ever interact with sweet little chicas (that's pretty much everyone:), I highly recommend it.

To sum it up, even though you reeeeeeaally should go read Joanna's post :) it is about her experience with a little girl she meets on a bus in downtown NY. Instead of complimenting her on her darling sparkly red flats or her braided blonde locs, she asks her about what book(s) she's reading. They enjoyed good conversation for a while...then she asks her new little friend what she enjoys for breakfast (I liked that question:). Joanna said she asked those questions instead of just complimenting the girl because of an impacting article she recalls reading called "How to Talk to Little Girls" by Lisa Bloom...she encourages people to steer away from solely complimenting girls on their physical appearance and instead ask them questions about what they enjoy, about books, about their favorite family vacation, etc. Focus more inward and less outward.

It is fantastic!!!

As I read the article, I recalled numerous time in my head of when I've seen my little neighbor girls or my sweet nieces, and instantly complimented them on their new hair or their cute dresses. They were genuine compliments...and I absolutely believe that we should never stop reassuring the girls and women in our lives that they are beautiful :) But I do whole-heartedly agree with Lisa Bloom when she wrote that "teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything else." So I'm going to do my best from now on to really strike good conversation with the little girls (and boys) I know and care about so much...and talk to them about what they love and not what they look like. Who's with me??

*cheers* to building up our girls from the inside out! :)

{ up at my grandparents' cabin ... circa 1997-ish }
Couldn't resist sharing this photo of our little group of girls...me, my 2 sisters, and 2 cousins :)
Can you tell which one is little Haley?? ;)

****************************************
Spiritual Health:
"Our Refined Heavenly Home" by Elder Douglas Callister
Physical Health:
Body Combat class at Skills Fitness

10 comments:

Eva Marie said...

I read that same article and agree with all of the above. I try eve so hard to ensure that my girl feels loved, knows that she is smart, funny, sweet, kind, caring and capable of doing so much in this world of ours.

My mother did the same for me :)

Great post Haley

Alli said...

I'm glad you mentioned this! I just read her post and I agree. Actually, I had never thought about it before because I'm not around little kids that often but I'll definitely keep this in mind as a teacher and as I head to a camp next week.

Thanks for sharing!

Swirls of Happy said...

Such a great post...very uplifiting and sooo important!! XO

Janie Richardson said...

I loved this! Such a true, and important concept. Thanks for sharing Hailey!

Emma said...

what a neat article! i'm totally going to have to use this advice when i talk to my patients at work, such a great concept. thanks for sharing!

kylee said...

that article was amazing. thanks so much for sharing. this is just the thing i need to hear. i'm majoring in human development and family studies and i'm specializing in the child life track. next semester i'm in a practicum where i work in the daycare with kindergarten kids for four hours a week. this was perfect for me to read! now i can better help those kids but knowing to stear away from superficial things. it's so easy and reflexive to compliment on cute clothes and hair styles so i'm grateful for this new challenge.

Shalyn said...

Wow Haley, that is an absolute game changer. I honestly had never thought of it that way, but it makes SO MUCH sense! If little girls see older people value looks first, that is what they will value! Geeze!

Drew {Coral Cafe} said...

This is sooo true!! I compliment little girls all the time on their precious outfits, painted nails and cute haircuts..but it really is important to draw up conversations that are more in depth with these little ones! This is the time they soak up life and find out what's most important!

Julie said...

Thanks for helping us all make a difference in girls' lives!

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

WELL said, Haley! What an inspiration you are to me and so many others! I am TOTALLY with you on trying to have a more positive influence on little girls (and guys!)

I am guilty of complimenting outward appearances of little ones, instead of reaching deeper...from now on I will make a conscious effort to genuinely get to know these little lovelies...and hopefully boost their self esteem in the process.

p.s. that has to be you at the top of that photo....what a CUTIE!

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