Late night tub time

Lots of tickling and kisses happened during Brooks and Ava's tub time last night. You would have never thought they were driving each other cray-zy allllll day yesterday. ;)

Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries Vol. IV: Listening

Listen with ears of tolerance.

See through eyes of compassion.

Speak with the language of love.

-Rumi

Dear Ava,

I can remember the first time Dad and I listened to your heart beat while you were growing inside my belly. It was quick and strong, yet it made the rest of the world around us slow down. Whether it's your heart, your voice, or your eyes talking to me, I will always listen. Sometimes it takes a few "mom-mom-mom"s and a tug at my pants while I'm doing dishes in the kitchen, but I want you to know I feel so blessed to be able to look at your sweet face and really listening to what you're wanting to tell me.

As you grow you'll have opportunities to listen, learn from, and help those around you. I hope you take time to really be there when your siblings or friends need someone to talk to. Sometimes they'll just want a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on...and that's when you have the chance to hear more than just the words they are saying. Being a good listener is such a gift.

Another gift is your intuition--the feelings in your heart and the promptings you get from your Heavenly Father--always listen to that. "The value of persistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but that we will hear Him." I love that! Whether you pray throughout the day, or pray once a month, your Father in Heaven is always listening and aware of your desires, whether you express them vocally or not. Ava, the beauty of that "persistent prayer" is you have that open line of communication, and if you take time to be still and listen, you'll feel what He's trying to tell you.

Looking through these old photos of Dad and me wearing you in the sling, I smile thinking of the times you fell asleep and I could hear you breathing, in and out. Or when we were exploring somewhere new, and you'd either snuggle in close to Dad's chest, or you'd point excitedly and babble about something that made you happy. :) I've been grateful to be able to wear you close, listen to you, and feel your heart beat next to mine. I'll always listen for what's in your heart Ava. I love you to the moon!

Love,
Mom

PS - The photo below of you wearing and kissing your baby doll will forever be one of my favorites!

*** In all of these flashback-photos we're wearing Ava in our Pure Linen Sakura Bloom sling, in maple.

Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries Vol. IV: Education

Dear Ava,

"If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you." -Unknown

I love that quote! Two people came to mind after reading it--your Dad and your Grandma Stum. Ava, your Dad is always wanting to learn more! Whether it's learning how to better his skills on the job, learning to be a better father each and every day (he's such a good one yet keeps improving!), or learning about the Gospel. He's not okay with settling with what he knows now, he want to educate himself and know more because he knows knowledge is power. His desire to learn and grow as an individual is inspiring. And your Grandma Stum, her passion for learning is contagious! Looking back, I was pretty lucky to grow up with a set of Encyclopedias at home, thanks to her. :) And she loves books, just devours them. I don't remember a book I was assigned to read in high school, and some in college too, that she didn't read also. Then she was able to share her thoughts and her perspective with me--she's so generous with her knowledge. Her thirst for knowledge is incredible!

Ava I hope you look to them throughout your life as awesome examples of how gaining and seeking education will benefit you. I feel blessed to get to watch you and your brother learn new things every day! As children you have an innate desire to explore and learn about the world around you. I hope to help keep that desire and flame burning bright in you! I know learning, in and out of the classroom, has its hard moments. But conquering those difficult lessons and gaining an education will truly give you wings to fly, and like the quote said, "no one can stop you."

I love you my sweet girl. You are kind. You are smart. You are important.

Love,
Mom

PS - I loved exploring part of the Salt Lake City Library with you, Brooks, and Dad the other day. And I'm so grateful that our sweet and talented friend Lindsay was able to capture it in these photos!

*** I'm wearing Ava in a Simple Linen Sakura Bloom sling, in silver. Again, huge thanks to Lindsay of Lindsay Dee Photography!

Swankaroo Love

The other day we walked around Station Park to enjoy the gorgeous fall weather that's still lingering. Ava had her Swankaroo backpack tag along, and I couldn't get over the cuteness. In it she carried her toy giraffe, apple sauce, and notepad with a few crayons...that girl was set. :) We LOVE her Swankaroo pack, and we just ordered another for Brooks using their Black Friday promo code (blackfriday13)! Kendra, the girl behind Swankaroo, is just lovely inside and out, and she works hard to make great products! Go here to get your swankaroo on. :)

Nursing Ava

"There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it." --Irena Chalmers

That quote put a smile on my face so I had to share. ;)

When I was pregnant with Ava I had a paradigm shift with how I felt about nursing. Not about nursing in general, but how I felt about myself nursing, specifically out in public. I just wasn't comfortable the first time around. It may sound odd, but a huge influence for me feeling more comfortable was reading accounts from beautiful women (like Carolee and Chelsea) here in blogland that shared such love and passion for breastfeeding. And before this part of Ava + me nursing comes to an end, I thought I'd share our story, for my personal record and to pay it forward in regard to possibly helping other women embrace breast feeding. It's a lofty goal, but who knows.

As Ava comes up on turning 18 months, it is still so surreal and awesome to me that she's still breastfeeding. I had prayed for us to get to a year, and that milestone came and went. :) I've been so grateful for the chance to bond with Ava this way. We've had our ups and downs in the nursing arena, but over all it's been such a blessing! When I became pregnant with her big brother Brooks I remember planning to nurse him, and I did for a little while. If I close my eyes I can still see his little body in my arms as an infant, asleep in a milk-coma after a good feeding. That was when we were home sweet home, in my rocking chair...if we ever went out I made sure to pump before leaving so that I wouldn't have to nurse in public. I was still so uncomfortable and anxious that someone would see my chest (even with a nursing cover) or I'd make those around me uneasy. I'd get nervous and clumsy and hot...seriously, I'd feel like my temperature was 100 degrees, even when we were at home I'd nurse in my underoos. Haha! So Brooks got used to a bottle pretty quickly. So much so, that he began to prefer the quick and easy flow of the bottle, to my breast -- talk about a cut to my mama heart. Well, my little ladies just couldn't keep up their milk supply with all the pumping and I eventually dried up when he was almost 4 months old, and it was formula from then on. I was so grateful though that Brooks was a happy and healthy baby, whether I nursed him or exclusively fed him formula. 

Along the way of getting pregnant a second time, and then thinking about life with another newborn, I thought about how breastfeeding would go this time around. I decided I was going to do my absolute best to feel more comfortable nursing in public and hopefully keep my milk supply. I even remember praying about it. It's incredible the change my heart and mind went through so that I looked at breast feeding so differently when Ava was born. I think it's normal to feel how I felt the first go around (not 100% comfortable with my body and all the new experiences of motherhood). But with Ava I had a clearer perspective, I just knew my girl had to eat, no matter the place, no matter the time, and no matter who was around.

When she arrived and we started our nursing adventure, it all came back to me just how painful it is. Those first few weeks are killer!! But we kept at it and eventually the feeling of OH-MY-this-is-so-paintful-I-think-I'm-going-to-pass-out went away, and it was good. Just so good. The mind is a powerful thing, and because I was so set on being more comfortable nursing in public, I really was!...I didn't get over heated either, like I did with Brooks. And in regard to people around me, I wore button up shirts a lot at first (easy access for Aves) and made sure to use our light-weight nursing cover (and now I use my Sakura Bloom sling) so the only person seeing my chest and/or my sweet baby girl eat was me, just the way I like it. :)

I used a pump a time or two, hoping Ava would take a bottle so Adam and I could go out on a date, but that little girl only wanted it straight from the source. No matter what though, Adam was so supportive of me nursing Ava. I remember at one point venting to him and expressing that I felt like this nursing gig was ball-and-chain for me. But didn't I pray for this?? Yes, I sure did, and that prayer was answered. It did make date nights a little more tricky, and hopefully our next babe will take a bottle every now and then, but overall I'm so grateful to have had this experience of exclusively breastfeeding Ava.

The feeling of knowing I was her sole source of nourishment as a baby, and a continuing source of comfort as she's entering toddlerhood is beyond wonderful. That girl has my heart. I treasure the memories of Ava's new, tiny body in my arms during the quiet hours of the night, just us. And now her body is so long, her legs hang off my lap, and she'll sometimes take brakes to smile and say, "Hi Mama." I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes when I think about not being able to nurse her anymore. And now I'll be praying again about this breastfeeding experience, that Ava will adjust smoothly and know that I still love her more than anything. I'm stopping so that I can do it again...hopefully sooner than later.

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^^ That boy has loved the water shooters at the splash pad this summer! ^^

^^ She's always the sweetest after a good nursing session. :) ^^

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

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^^ Finding out where the sidewalk really ends! ^^

^^ When life gives you cracked eggs, make a hair mask. ^^ 

"A portrait of my children, every week, once a week, in 2013."

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^^ He went #2 on the potty! We celebrating my fist bumping and dancing in the hall! ^^

^^ Our own Little Miss Sunshine. ^^

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

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^^ Stopping to smell the wild sunflowers. ^^

^^ Her smile. ^^

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

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^^ All smiles "fishing" at the Stum Family Reunion. ;) ^^

^^ I just love that girl and her little shadow. ^^

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

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** Due to breaking my phone, I lost photos from the month of July, so I'm skipping weeks 25-28 of this little series.

^^ Puddle jumping! ^^

^^ Exploring at our favorite park. ^^

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Dear Ava,

As of Saturday, we finally kicked a bad bug! The week before was a looong one made of sleepless nights and raw noses from all the kleenex tissues, you are not a fan of those. I'm afraid that it took a little longer for us all to finally get better because you, Brooks, and your Daddy are just too irresistible...I can't stop hugging and kissing and holding you close. But carrying you in your sling is just all around good for us I think, even if germs may be involved when we're sick.

Whether we're out and about, or at home and I'm just trying to get things done, I've held you close in the sling and you're happy. Much of the time I'm paying attention to other things around me, but the other day I soaked in the moments of it being just us. It was so precious watching you as it sank in that we both have the same facial features. Two eyes, two ears, one pair of lips, lots of teeth, one nose..."Ava's nose. Mama's nose." Little one, you have my heart. Your Daddy and I adore you forever.

Love,

Mom

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^^ Sweet dreaming. ^^

^^ Those eyes. ^^

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

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^^ Brooks and his duck friend at Liberty Park. ^^

^^ All smiles with her popsicle in hand. That Ava is our little sunshine girl. ^^

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

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^^ My little boxer-brief wearing baller. Our sweet neighbors gave us that hoop! Now to get an actual basketball. ;) ^^

^^ So fresh and so clean! ^^ 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

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^^ My little Indian Chief. ^^

^^ My little flower child. ^^

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."