Bumping

I've abandoned this poor blog of mine (it's Instagram's fault, haha)...but LOTS has happened since my last update. Biggest and best: we added another member to our family! But before I can share details on that little miracle, here are some awesome and awkward memories from my pregnancy. :)

Awkward: 
- Losing my breathe when tieing shoes and buckling sandals, or bending down to do anything really. ;)
- Feeling like my ya-hoo is going to fall off due to funky pressure "downstairs". Umm. Tmi? Not sure how else to explain it.
- Trying to squeeze past someone, thinking there's enough room and definitely forgetting my width, so I bump them with my bump. Oops.
- Being asked by a stranger at the park if I was going to have a boy. I answer, "We'll see! We like to wait and be surprised. What makes you think boy?" She looked down at my ankles, "Oh, you're swollen." Well, thanks.
- Squatting down to pick up the receipt I was handed then dropped, and feeling the crotch of my pants rip. Greeeaaaaat.
 - Walking out of the doctor's office with splotches of the belly-jelly (ultrasound gel) on my shirt. I was feeling all sorts of classy.
- Much of the time I walked around like an old woman because of my intense lower back pain. I won't miss that.

 Awesome:
- Feeling and watching the baby kick and stretch in my belly. Never loses its magic!
- Brooks turned 2 the week before his little sister was born, so he wasn't really aware of what was happening...but this go-around he's much more excited about baby brother or sister! And I think it's rubbing off on Ava. :)
- Knowing Brooks' or Ava's clothes will be used by this second boy or girl!
- Closing my eyes and imagining bringing this babe into the world. I treasure my experiences giving birth, and my heart can hardly wait to open up and feel love for another little one after laboring to get him or her here.
- I was nervous to be pregnant through the summer, but it hasn't been as dreadfully hot as I expected. Plus I don't have to suck in for even a second in my swim suit. Haha, I'm ridiculous. ;)
- Brooks and Ava love to feel the baby move (okay, sometimes I move it so they think it's the baby;) I get to watch them get so excited, and then I feel their bellies. Sweetest back and forth interaction. :)
- I had this little "vision" of Brooks and Ava helping me rub lotion on our freshly bathed babe...it was a boy, and his little arms and legs were wiggling around and big brother and sister were giggling the whole time.

The babe's birth story will be coming tomorrow. Feeling beyond blessed thinking back. :)

40 weeks...then in my arms

Dear Baby Ava,

I really did think I'd be writing you (as the baby in my belly) a 40-week letter. But this letter comes to you now that you're here!! You are here and in my arms. I'm actually writing the text of this letter on my phone as you nurse. Feeding you in the middle of the night is tiring, to say the least, but I absolutely love this time with just you and me, in the still, quiet darkness. I'm in heaven listening and feeling your sweet little nose breathe right up against my skin, your tiny hand with long fingers is resting on to my chest, and I've only had to tickle your feet twice to wake you up to keep eating ;)

I can't believe just 5 days ago you were in my belly. A part of me misses it...but OH, I am loving having you in my arms finally! When I hold you real close, your little movements, especially your hiccups, feel so familiar to me. Last night your sweet Dad was holding you and you started to get the hiccups...he was so worried because they were jolting your little body. I assured him it was okay, and that I remember feeling you have hiccups a lot toward the end of my pregnancy with you. The worried look stayed on his face though until your tiny body relaxed. He sure loves you little one.

And Ava thank you so much for being such a calm, sweet baby. You had high levels of bilirubin at the hospital, so now that we're home we've had to have you spend most of your time in a bili-bed (your little UFO, as Dad calls it). You're such a trooper and have been wonderful to sleep so much, and so well, in it. Your easy going nature has also made it so that your big brother still gets lots of Mommy and Daddy time too :) We're still working on helping Brooks understand that you're his sister, but soon enough I know he's going to be loving on you all the time and you two will be the best of friends!

Oh Ava girl, I'm so grateful your loving Heavenly Father sent you to us. This Momma of yours is head over heels. So thrilled you are ours forever! But now I've got to put you back to bed...sweet dreams little one.

Love,
Mom

PS - Here are some photos your Dad took...a fun before-and-after comparison don't you think? The left is just an hour before you joined our family, and the right was when you were barely 2 days old, both in front of the hospital bed you were born in :)

38 weeks and pink flowers or blue whales?

Dear Baby,

Every morning that I wake up with you still growing in this belly of mine, I get more excited, more anxious, and yet more calm that you will come when and how you're supposed to. Bringing your sweet older brother into the world was an incredible experience. He came on his due date and was sure in a hurry to get here! And I just wonder, will you come quickly? Will you take your time? Will there be complications? But then I remember, that you and I are both in God's hands. What is meant to happen, will happen. I am a woman, blessed with a capable, strong body and I can do this. We'll do it together, k? :) And knowing your Dad will be at my side the whole time brings me more comfort than I can say. That Daddy of yours...we're lucky to have him :)

Keep growing healthy, and continue putting a smile on my face when you kick and stretch in your tight quarters, making my belly dance ;) I'm going to miss feeling you inside me...and I'm soaking up each day I have left where you're completely mine :)

Love you forever,

Mom

PS - OH baby, let me just tell you I am sooooo excited to find out if you're a little boy or girl!! I wish I could say that I have a feeling from my mother's intuition about it...but I just can't seem to stick with one or the other. Are you our little Ava, who will have a protective older brother that will teach you to dance? Or are you our little Boston, who will have an instant best friend to show you the ropes of boyhood? Either way, I've got a few things ready...I made some dainty, felt bows and flowers, and I have a fresh new, blue outfit with tiny whales on it. All of which makes me completely giddy :)

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So those reading this, what do you think...

Will our little one be wearing flowers in her hair??

Or will our little one be sporting blue stripes and tiny whales??

Hmmmm... :)

37 weeks and a white crib

Dear Baby,

Today is February 29th (Happy Leap Day!) and that means tomorrow I'm going to be able to say you'll be coming this month. It's still surreal knowing that just days from now we'll be bringing your sweet, tiny body home from the hospital. Oh, just typing that made my heart skip a beat! We're still getting things ready at home for your arrival...sorry this mama of yours waits 'til the last minute for just about everything. Here are a few things that your Daddy and I have been working on...

TO BUY:

crib

double stroller (still researching...)

newborn diapers

fresh, white onesies (can't have enough:)

new rocking chair (early mother's day present from daddy!)

white sheets for crib

lamp for nursery

TO DO:

Dad set up crib

wash white sheets for crib

paint nursery (and Brooks' room)

create and display a few prints in the nursery

wash linens for bassinet

put Brooks' gender-neutral newborn clothes in nursery

I'm hoping by this weekend we'll get it all crossed off (minus the double stroller, we don't need it right away...but when we do find the right one I can't wait to go on walks with you & your brother this spring!)...especially considering my doctor recently said that you may make your big entrance 7-10 days early!! That's just 2 weeks away. But who really knows when you'll come? Only you & your sweet Heavenly Father I guess, just the way it should be :)

I love you baby! And I hope you enjoyed the bowl of Apple Jacks I've been eating while writing this letter to you :)

Love always,

Mom

PS - Just thought I'd share these sweet photos of your Dad setting up your crib earlier this week...I soaked up every minute of watching him lovingly put it together. You'll have countless dreamy nights in there...and someday you may end up using it as a bounce house like your brother sometimes does with his ;)

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Spiritual Health:

Reread one of my very favorite, oh-so eloquent, and beautiful testimonies of our Savior. I first read Elder Neal A. Maxwell's "Jesus of Nazareth, Savior and King" in December 2007 (it was republished from a past General Conference address). I was dating Adam at the time, and Elder Maxwell's testimony of a loving, all-knowing brother who is my Savior and Redeemer really moved me. He said, "I thank Him for His discerning way of knowing us without controlling us, for never letting the needs of now crowd out the considerations of eternity." What beautiful words that I needed as I was prayerfully considering marrying Adam...best decision I've ever made :)

34 weeks and family kisses

Dear Baby,

Happy Valentine's Day my little sweetheart! As I type this, you're putting the biggest smile on my face because I can feel all sorts of love taps from you...and love kicks and love stretches ;) I can't wait to see your little body be able to really stretch, from your hands above your head to your sweet pointed toes...in less than 6 weeks!

I wanted to tell you about something that really touched my heart yesterday. While reading some scriptures for Personal Progress I read in Jeremiah, "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee..." (Jeremiah 1:5). That was God speaking to Jeremiah, but I want you to know that your Heavenly Father also knew you before you started growing in my belly. And he knows you now. You are so, so precious to Him. And I feel blessed to have been able to carry you in my belly as your sweet body has grown and developed, preparing to enter this beautiful world :) So today, being Valentine's Day, I want you to absolutely know that I love you already and cannot wait to meet you. But more importantly, I want you to know that you are a child of a thoughtful Heavenly Father who loves you so perfectly. Your Daddy and I are going to do our best to make sure that you always feel His love.

Love,

Mom

PS - Before Dad left for work today we made sure to get some extra sweet "family kisses"...can't wait to squeeze you in next month! :)

33 Week Silhouette

Dear Baby,

You've been growing in this belly of mine for 33 weeks now...I hope I've made a comfy home for you :) And let me just tell you, please enjoy your stay as long as you want. Your sweet Daddy and I both have a strong feeling that you're going to come early, which is just fine with us (actually makes me giddy thinking about it!) as long as you're healthy. I've been experiencing braxton hicks for the past few weeks, and they've gotten stronger by the day...more intense than I remember when I was pregnant with your older brother. But I welcome them because I know they're part of the whole labor process that's helping get you into my arms :)

Today was Dad's day off...and it was such a good day. We woke up when Brooks woke up and enjoyed breakfast together. You and I shared a glass of soy milk and a yummy piece of toast with peanut butter, bananas, and cinnamon :) And then we got started on clearing out the room that we're going to make your nursery. It's been a catch-all room for boxes full of memories from your Dad's high school wrestling, his mission to Japan, papers from our time at college, and some of our wedding photos and our wedding guest book. I loved that part of the time we were able to reminisce and talk about those fond memories...and then the next minute we talked about how excited we are to have you sleep in this room and about the sweet memories we know will be created there with you. Oh sweetheart I'm so excited to work on your nursery! I've procrastinated much too long, and only have a matter of weeks (7-ish) but I think we'll be able to do it. Like I said earlier, you just stay cozy in my belly as long as you need ;)

Tomorrow I go for a doctor's appointment and I can't wait to hear your heartbeat. Best sound in the world.

Love you forever,

Mom

PS - The other night your Dad and I were talking in bed and you started to put on a little show for us. You had us laughing because you made it look like I was belly dancing while laying down! ha! Adam of course put his hand on my belly and felt your little dance moves...we couldn't get enough :)

Christmas in January

The title of this post describes how I felt like when I came home yesterday afternoon to find this box on our front porch :) You see, my beautiful friend Britney (who lives in Oregon) offered to send me some of her maternity clothes to enjoy during this last leg of my pregnancy...how thoughtful is she??

I put Brooks down for his nap (in record time, I was pretty excited to open it up;) and then proceeded to have a little fashion show in my room trying on the fabulous (and insanely comfortable) skinny jeans, comfy sweaters & tops, adorable peacoat, and beautiful white maxi skirt. Being pregnant I don't feel cute or attractive the majority of the time...and comfortable clothes with style are a luxury! Welp, Britney helped me with all of that. Thank you, thank you!

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Spiritual Health:

Read "Concern for the One" by Joseph B. Wirthlin...A wonderful General Conference address from April 2008, the month before Adam and I got married :)

"The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. All of Heavenly Father’s children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole."

Physical Health:

We'll see ;)

30 weeks with disappearing toes

Dear Baby,

Three-quarters. You are three-quarters of the way done cooking! And you just keep cooking as long as you need :) At your ultrasound today Dr. Meek told your Daddy and I that you're head-down (good job!), we saw your little heart beating strong, you're measuring at about 3 pounds 3 ounces...and we saw your face!! Oh your sweet face...your closed eyes, your nose, your lips, your chin. You made this Momma of yours cry...but don't worry, they were the happiest tears :)

And your five senses are all functional now! Although you can't see, taste, or smell much now...I do hope you feel cozy and warm, and that you hear the many "I love you"s we tell you daily. Thinking of your five senses...made me think of my own. And I thought I'd share with you five things I can't wait to experience with you as an infant:

I can't wait to SEE your fresh eyes when you look at me, really look at me, for the first time.

I can't wait to HEAR your tender cry, that I will be able to sooth.

I can't wait to TASTE your sweet kisses.

I can't wait to SMELL your baby breath and your peach fuzz skin.

I can't wait to FEEL your chest on my chest, and your breath on my neck.

Sweet baby, I love you more than you know. Keep growing! And maybe tone down the kicks to my ribs, pretty please ;)

Love always,

Mom

PS - So sorry I missed your 28 week letter and baby bump photos...somehow the holidays came and went and slipped through my fingers! That won't happen again, promise :)

PPS - Here are 3 sonogram photos of your little face...it's horizontal and near the top, your forehead on the right, and chin on the left. These pictures are hard to make out...I wish we could have captured video of it! But I know I'll get plenty of video of you later to make up for it ;)

26 weeks in bright Christmas lights ;)

Dear baby,

We're almost to the third trimester! Wahoooo!! Okay, I just had to let that out. :) You're about the size of an eggplant now. And you've been soaking up my anti-bodies to build up your immune system so that you can fight off germs once you get out into the world. I hope and pray you don't get sick as an infant, I have a few friends whose little ones have caught bad bugs lately and it just breaks my heart. So I better go make me a green smoothie full of spinach to give you some good vitamins!

Thinking of sharing a green smoothie with you makes me happy :) And you know what else makes me happy?? Knowing who's going to take your newborn photos! I entered a giveaway last week for a photography session by a wonderful photographer...and we won!! Soon after you're born in March, we'll be able to get all sorts of sweet photos of you...in all your tiny, precious infant glory. Oh I am giddy :)

And little one, I may already be embarrassing you...that first picture of me wrapped up in the Christmas lights sure made your Daddy-o get a good laugh while taking the picture!...behind my grin I'm actually trying to hold back the giggles too! I look kinda silly I think, but I've seen similar photos that are just darling and thought we could add a little Christmas cheer to this baby-bump photo journal. There are just 5 days left 'til Christmas! Can you feel my anticipation?? :)

Love you always,

Mom

PS - Dad took the baby bump shots of me before church on Sunday, and later Sunday night the extended Kjar family got together and the young cousins read the story of Christ's birth from the Bible. The kids each had a part and got dressed up to act while the story was being told...your older brother was supposed to be one of the wise men. But he wasn't in the mood to wear his regal robe and crown, but instead took a front seat for the little play and snuggled with his yellow blankie...such a sassy little guy he is. I wonder what kind of personality you'll have... :)

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Spiritual Health:

Read Moroni 2-6

Very short chapters...but full of incredible verses, including the sacramental prayers. I'm so grateful for the sacrament and the chance each Sunday I have to renew my covenants I made at baptism and think of my Savior and His ultimate sacrifice.

Physical Health:

30 minutes of the elliptical at home and lots of stretching...stretching never felt so good!

24.5 weeks in rosy pink lace

Dear Baby,

You are going to be in my arms in about 3 months. Whoa. I feel like I want to make a paper chain to count down the number of days to your due date! Maybe I will :)

You, little one, are a mover and a shaker already! Always reminding me that you're inside this growing belly of mine...your favorite thing is to get up high and nudge my ribs, especially on my right side. Your older brother did that a lot too actually...which makes me wonder if you're another little boy in there! I wish I could say I have some sort of motherly intuition about it...but I really am not sure. We'll see when we meet you in March! Oh that moment will be incredible.

And we got our family photos taken today! I'm so glad that you were in them with us, well kind of. And next year you'll be smiling in them...which puts a huge smile on my face just to think about!

Love you forever,

Mom

PS - Just thought I'd share a sweet photo of your Dad and brother I snagged earlier tonight while Malissa took the real shots. Goodness I love those boys, and I know you will too :)

22 weeks in a cozy scarf & boots

Dear Baby,

Your sweet little body (the size of a 2 pound papaya!) has been growing and developing in my belly for 22, almost 23, weeks now...22 is my lucky number :) I hope you can feel that. Maybe that's why you've been making stronger movements last couple weeks? Dad and I LOVE putting our hands on my belly to feel your big stretches, strong kicks, and high fives. (At least I like to think they're high fives;)

And I think you be gave me lots of high fives after Thanksgiving last week! You get a little bit of everything I eat...so you "tasted" moist turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes topped with gravy, cranberry sauce, fresh baked rolls, and cheesecake :) Along with getting a taste of Thanksgiving, I think you were also able to hear a bit of our Thanksgiving, because according to this neat website you should be able to hear sounds outside the womb. You heard a few lively debates during dinner ;) Then after, your Aunt Natalie took out a basket filled with little pieces of paper that your cousins had written on...they wrote about what they're grateful for, and we took turns reading them. It was so sweet. One day you and your brother will be able to share the little things that you're grateful for...oh I can't believe it!

And let me just say, I am SO grateful for you!! In every prayer I thank God for you.

Love always,

Mom

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Spiritual Health:

Read Alma 36-40

"Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day." -- Alma 37:37

Physical Health:

Going to the gym later today. Oh I need me some stair master :) Wish us luck that Brooks will stay in the play area and not cry...it's been a while!

20 weeks in specs...and an ultrasound!

Dear Baby,

Look at you! Well, look at your little arm, your tiny hand, and your precious foot! You were a bit shy and wouldn't show us your face at the 20-week ultrasound yesterday. The ultrasound tech said that you were snuggled right in and your head was down and facing my back...you were obviously pretty comfy because we searched for a long time but you never came out. Maybe come out and say "hi" next time, won't you? :) I'm just glad that you're growing strong and healthy though!! Both Dad and I are so happy. The doctor said your heart rate is great and your measurements are right on...and even moved your due date forward a day, to March 20th!

Well little one, you're now about the size of cantaloupe. A small cantaloupe I think. And at the ultrasound they said you're weighing about 14 ounces. Not even quite a pound, but almost fully developed!! You're such a miracle. OH! And I felt you for the first time this weekend!! It was in the morning...I was still laying in bed after your daddy had gone to the gym, and your sweet brother Brooks had just woken up and was playing in his crib (I just needed a few more minutes to kind of rest) and I felt this wonderful bubble-popping feeling in my lower belly! Oh I knew it was you. And I've felt it a few times since. I canNOT wait to feel you more and more as you get bigger. You're already moving like crazy (we definitely saw that at the ultrasound yesterday:) but as you get larger and your space seems to get smaller, I'll be feeling it all!

I love you baby, forever and ever,

Mom

PS - Dad and I went on a date yesterday to catch a matinee movie after your ultrasound. That's where I took my belly photos. :) Oh how I love that Daddy of yours. And can I tell you I'm actually really excited to tote you around on our dates while you're a tiny infant. But once you get too wiggly and bored with us lovebirds we'll have you and Brooks be together with the babysitter ;)

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Spiritual Health:

Read Nephi 6-10

"For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost..." Nephi 10:19 -- Adam and I are definitely counting on this scripture :)

Physical Health:

P90x workout (semi-toned down for my pregnant self) with my sister Corrie (she's in town!)

every little miracle

Whether you're a mom, a mom-to-be, or someone who is in awe of the miracle of a new born babe (or all 3 like me:) watch this video. Actually, it's a commercial, and a fantastic one at that. The music, the images, the message...gets me teary-eyed every. time.

Today we are going in for our 20-week ultrasound (in just 3 hours actually!!). I'm like a kid at Christmas with every ultrasound. But this one is the best. It's extensive, and Adam and I get to spend a long time looking at our growing baby while the doctor checks everything out. We're not going to find ou this babe's sex, so when they start looking for the goods (or the lack there of;) we'll just look away. We did it with Brooks too, and we love it this way.

March is going to hold lots of sweet surprises for us!!

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Spiritual Health:

(Starting my challenge to read the entire Book of Mormon by Christmas...5 chapters a day)

Read Nephi 1-5

"...I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." -- Nephi 3:7

Physical Health:

Adam's day off...we're both just relaxing :)

18 weeks in a tee and beanie

Dear Baby,

You've been growing in my belly for 18 weeks now, and you're about the size of a sweet potato!...apparently moving around like crazy too! Kicking, yawning, hiccuping, and rolling around. Still haven't felt you yet, but I'm sure I will soon! You just keep squirming and moving while you still can...before you know it you'll be so big and squished in my belly you won't have much room to move around. But don't worry, soon after you'll be born and you'll have all the room you need to stretch your sweet arms and legs all you want...oh I can't wait!! Goodness I'm getting ahead of myself :)

Oh, and you now have little, unique prints on the end of each of your tiny fingers and toes. How incredible.

So little one, you have been making this momma of yours craaaaaaaaavve milk. I can't seem to get enough! Regular and chocolate. And I've been devouring peaches, mac & cheese, broccoli, and all things gummi (peachie-Os have been my gummi candy of choice). Hope you're enjoying all of that :) And I usually love a great big salad, but lately I've had to practically force feed myself good salads with healthy vegetables...sadly they just don't sound appetizing, but I know they're good for me, and more importantly good for you! I love you more than you know :) Keep growing healthy and strong little one! And I can't wait to see you (in an ultrasound) in a few weeks!!

Love always,

Mom

PS - See that little orange pumpkin in the front of that pile of pumpkins?...it's yours :) Dad and I can't wait to carve it next week!

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Spiritual Health:

Personal Progress - Integrity Value Experience #5

Read Mosiah 18

Verse 9:

"Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—"

Physical Health:

3 sets of this arm, leg, and core workout